Kings Veterinary Hospital

• Take care of your body. The body is the container of the mind, which is now feeling intense emotion. Nurturing it in the following ways will ease your grieving process. *Nutrition: eat healthy meals even if your appetite is reduced. *Sleep: be sure to get at least 5-8 hours daily, no more, no less. *Exercise: even walking will help your mood in this difficult time.

• Talk to people who can empathize with your grief. Consistent interaction and sharing with those you feel comfortable around will be most beneficial.

• Maintain structure in your life by continuing to do the activities you did before the loss, with the exception of those you did with or for your pet. Do not allow this major disruption to snowball into every aspect of your life. Structure will help you regain your bearings.

• Perform a ritual when you feel the time is right. Some have funerals at a pet cemetery or memorials with friends and family. Others may create a small shrine for a brief time.

• Allow yourself to feel sadness and loss. Grief is a normal response to a normal occurrence, yet each person goes through it differently. If you feel as though you cannot recover, or it you have thoughts of self-harm, contact a mental health professional immediately.

The above was written by Dr. Matt Zimmerman, a licensed psychologist practicing in Pembroke Pines, FL. He provides grief counseling and facilitates a Pet Loss and Grieving Support Group at the Broward County Humane Society.

What a wonderful responsibility we take on when we bring a pet into our lives! With the help and guidance of veterinarians, we provide a loving, safe, and healthy environment for our pets, who share everything with us. Pets see us through marriages, divorces, and the birth of children. Pets endure separation and welcome us back as if we’d been away forever. They are the best pals we have for accepting us as we are.But one day, that constant will become one of our losses. And when the kind face and acceptance we used to turn to are gone, where do we go for comfort?One of the most difficult and important parts of grieving and loss is seeking to understand what has happened and that what you are feeling is all right. Your sense of loss may encompass your life, and that is all right. You have the right to grieve, and you can take as much time as you need. In a busy and demanding world, the trick is to take the time.There are many stages of grief, and none of them are absolute. Time frames vary from person to person. Generally, the stages include:

1. Shock/disbelief/denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining (often with God)

4. Depression

5. Acceptance/resolution/recovery

Ideally, these sages are supposed to progress from stages one through five in a predictable fashion. But often, this just doesn’t happen. Many don’t go through all of the stages, and almost everyone will be thrown back into and out of these stages before the healing truly begins. You may find yourself very close to resolution when a memory or anniversary of your pet’s passing knocks you back into the anger or denial stage. Not only is this understandable, but it is also a fact of life. Give yourself time. If you feel that time is passing too painfully for you or you want some very special and caring support, there are many sources of support available to you.

• Your veterinarian: Your relationship with your veterinarian has just been very emotional and personal. Few people understand your loss like the staff who have cared for your pet and who have helped you make your decision. Some pet owners, when going through the anger stage of grief, will blame their veterinarian for their loss. Talk this over with your pet’s caregiver; it may help you come to terms with that part of your loss.

• Church or Synagogue: If you have a relationship with a pastor or rabbi, don’t forget that they may be there for you. For many people, religion is a framework for life. Don’t think that they would not want to hear that you lost your pet.

• Counseling: Seeking professional help is absolutely right and very common. Grief and depression are just as real over the loss of a pet as they are over the loss of a person. Some professionals offer pet loss support groups. In a group like this, you will be with other people in the same situation as you who understand your grief and can share their experiences.

• Friends and family: Don’t overlook this resource. Many of them have been with you in your grief from the time of decision or the receipt of the terrible news. And most have known your pet as long as you have. It may be difficult to accept help, but if someone offers, think about accepting it. Remember, with time your pain will lessen, and the wounds of despair will heal. You will never forget your beloved pet; the many happy memories will always be with you.

Additional Grief Support Links:

The University of Florida offers a Grief Support Hotline plus some articles on coping with pet loss.

Tufts University offers a Grief Support Hotline and articles regarding the loss of a pet.

World by the Tail—The makers of the Clay Paw offer a thorough website discussing memorialization and many aspects of pet loss.

One of our long-time clients has a website, www.griefandpetloss.com. It mainly deals with the loss of our human companions and loved ones; however, Christine also has a very well written section on pet loss.

Talking to your children about the death of a beloved pet can be difficult. How much do we tell them? How truthful should we be? How much can they handle? These are questions that most parents discover they are unprepared for. We want to help you do the right thing and help you make decisions that will be healthy for you and your children long-term.

The company that makes the wonderful Clay Paw Prints that we make as a memorial to your pet have dedicated their time and energy to offering resources to pet parents and veterinary professionals. They have a wonderful resource called Kids and grief. This page divides advice into age and stage of life. They also have some great books and ideas to help children memorialize.

Here is some helpful advice for children coping with pet loss.

Our advice to you is to be truthful with your children at a level that is appropriate to their age. When we make up stories about where their beloved pet went or lie to them about what happened, we may spare them some short-term grief, but eventually, we start to break down the trust in our relationships with them. Children need to know that they can trust their parents and this is an important time for them. If you ask nearly any adult about their favorite childhood pet, you will often hear the story of their passing. This is often a defining moment in a person’s life. If handled with truth, dignity, and support, the loss of a family pet can be a lesson in how to properly grieve and handle loss for the rest of a child’s life. We urge you to use the resources provided to help in handling your grief first. Think of the instructions you get on a plane…Grab your oxygen mask first before you offer it to your children. Make sure you are okay and dealing with your grief before you try to determine how to help your children. Be intentional about your approach and remember, it is okay to be sad.

​For many years Kings has utilized The Pines Pet Cemetery and Cremation Center. They offer a wide variety of services with amazing customer service. Please contact Pines directly for more information regarding:

• Private Cremation

• Inurnment

• Burial

• Scattering

Columbarium

Website: https://www.pinespetcemeteryandcremationcenter.com/

Phone: (937) 228-6768, (513) 579-8250, (513) 932-2270

Office Hours: 9-5 Weekdays, 9-2 Saturdays, Closed Sundays and Holidays

Cemetery Location: 764 Riley Willis Road Lebanon, OH 45036